” The greatest gift you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence ~ Nishan Panwar
In 2011 I became a parent to two healthy babies and my life changed dramatically…but it was a long way getting there.
The Road to Motherhood:
I have always had a bit of a loner/adventurer/independent spirit, something that my parents nurtured in me. At sixteen I went to Switzerland as part of an exchange program; when it came to choose a university I moved away; after school I headed off to Korea to teach English. Life continued to move forward adventure dwindled away and the monotony of corporate life crept in. I lost my father to brain cancer and it left our family numb with grief. As 35 loomed on the horizon I decided I wanted to have a child.
When I look back on my childhood I realized I would play “mommy” but never envisioned a “daddy”. I knew I wanted children but never pictured sharing them with anyone. This posed a little bit of a problem…but the adventurous-independent spirit rose again. I chose to become a single mother by choice through anonymous donation. The process had a few set-backs but eventually I found myself 3 weeks pregnant with two heart beats.
All in all my pregnancy was great. I remained relatively pain free during the entire pregnancy appreciating the humor of morphing into a Mack truck. At 37 weeks a healthy 7.6 lb boy and 6 lb. girl were delivered into the world through C-section. The first month was really tough, despite the wonderful support from my mom and sisters, the exhaustion and serious infection had me back at the hospital. It was terrifying, I had just met these two wonderful people and was overwhelmed at prospect of not seeing them grow up. Thankfully I recovered!
I said several times during my pregnancy and beyond the roll of a mother (parent) is to prepare our children to leave us; It starts with preparing them to leave our body all the way to being responsible and independent humans that leave the nest. As a parent of twins, probably like most parents, I am always thinking about how to raise them as individual entities (not the twins) and foster their independence.
Impetus for the Blog:
First off, I miss writing real words, sentences, and paragraphs. I enjoy reading blogs and searching for creative ideas that people share and felt a need to contribute back. When brainstorming on what I could possibly have to contribute I realized that building my children’s independence was not at the expensive of my own. I also need to work on my independence on food, paycheck to paycheck living, and to some degree even my dependence on my children defining me. This blog is offering me an opportunity to share that.
I have found the resources from Lena at WhatMommyDoes extremely helpful in starting out. If I had not found her wealth of information I would probably still be day dreaming about starting this up. So a huge thank you for the amazing content!
I am really excited to get started and I really hope what I have to share appeals to you. Please feel free to contact me and I look forward to hearing from you.
You may notice apples, apple blossoms, and apple orchards through out my pages. We really love apples! – Kim